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Positive childrearing 

Positive childrearing starts already in early childhood. It does not mean that the child has no limits or that everything is allowed. Positive education means facing the child empathically, hearing and understanding the child as well as recognising and strengthening the child’s strengths. The child’s feelings are expressed in words, and the child is taught how to calm down. Good things are noticed, encouraged and given thanks for. Sometimes feelings flare up on both sides, in which case forgiveness is asked for and is given. And at the same time, the limits set for the child are maintained.  

A secure bond with a parent is important for a child’s development. A strong relationship of attachment and interaction between a child and a parent protects the child and also affects future relationships positively. The child is respected mentally and physically: No violence is inflicted on the child, who is allowed to develop into an individual personality. Thinking ahead is also essential in positive childrearing. You can already think about how to get out of a difficult situation. How can you help your child overcome the situation?    

A parent’s own emotional skills are important so that they can also be taught to the child. Emotional skills can be practised and developed. For example, you can draw your own outline on paper and make a mark where you feel any emotion, or choose a colour for the emotion. Is there some emotion that causes an unreasonably strong reaction? Why? Could the emotional reaction be stopped? Maybe you could take ten deep breaths, go back to the beginning and then react better? Remember to be merciful towards yourself. Everyone makes mistakes; no one is perfect, but you can always learn and improve more.